l, lo, lov, love.

its so beautiful – to be loved and to love.

even when we are such vulnerable creatures. we take on these emotions that crash upon us like a wave but it still kisses the shores with a lullaby goodnight. these tangible memories that hang on a thread, one day certain; one day not.

the reason why you’re perhaps smiling, but also the reason why you cry yourself to sleep when the lights grow dim, and the chilly wind brushes your fragile willpower to continue fighting for this.

this is the beauty of young love. a certain sort of quandary that overwhelms. our eagerness to grow up in hope that we are ready to catch ourselves when we slip along our way. the vulnerability that is encompassed within this whole package – but even so, we push by it because youth and excitement ventures through our veins. could this be acts of valour? our proclamation to take the risk of our own tenuous yet intricate heart. barely understanding what exactly it is to love someone – to carry someone even when your load is weighing you down that your knees begin to shiver in resistance.

it is dangerous, so dangerous as you subject your heart to a radiant blossom of emotions. every single time – you picture yourself as an exception; that somehow this flower will never wilt even when the storms grips the petals in tumultuous force.

the complex idea that no one seems to be able to perfectly define it for others – but an emotion that is cultivated through an individual.

to love someone, you have to be guarded yourself. how can you carry someone when you aren’t stable yourself? to love someone, take away the zoom lenses and look at it from a bigger picture. this picture no longer exists just as a solo picture. your morals, your stands, your principles of what makes up every atom of your breathing body.

to love someone, is to let go. why continue keeping a growing bird caged up when its wings were meant to take it out into the world – to fly amidst the the trees as the autumn leaves rustle in calamity. even when this act hurts and it feels as though a tractor has compressed your heart flat.

– loving someone is wanting the best for them even if it means you are not included in the picture.

it takes a bold courage to pick yourself up and walk on. you wake up one morning realising that things are now different. your sentiments starts on a fresh new page all over again. you pull yourself together in hope that this vehemence would soon vanish.

every song, movie, symbolistic object soon pours thoughts and nostalgia all over you again. but hey, you were fearless – you took on a risk to put your heart out on the line. although sometimes we envision love to last, we are after all on planet earth; where fairytales will always remain as talking teapots and magic carpet rides.

the tears of nothing near to regret – but of gratefulness that you could feel what you felt. some people leave this world without feeling what its like to fall in love, and definitely, out of love. why waste this life not loving?

so long as your path once crossed, there is something to take away from it. even if its not the person’s heart. perhaps, you’ve taken away a strength that could’ve not been built from weights and medicine balls. a strength within yourself to let go. it doesn’t mean you don’t love that person any more.

             even when you both exit the tunnel, the lamp you once shared  will ever still remain.

you can walk away knowing you are not the person you were at the start of this love. the abrasions on your knee from falling time after time, yet you still got back up.

and through all these, God has directed your path.

He has a plan all drawn out for you – perhaps one day, someone else would sweep you off your feet without you realising.  why trust in your own vulnerability then on the strength of the Lord to carry you through?

A love so fresh. the sparks of what it feels like to fall head over heels for someone.

A love so fragile. what its like to feel love and what it means to love. to be sure of oneself and to think yet again if this is what is best for the both of you.

A love so much like a fairytale. A love so much like an adventure. A love so much like a cassette tape.

An adrenaline flow of emotions that somehow has an end.

Today, i smile – slightly teary eyed.

Because through you, i finally understand that loving someone is as beautiful as it gets.

아름다운 당신, 고맙습니다


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